Coffee At My Table

Why I stopped Writing and Why I am Thankful...

2010-11-24T04:24:00.000-08:00

Today I learned a new word from my Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day, "tu quoque" (too-kwoh-kwee). It means, "a retort charging an adversary with being or doing what he or she criticizes in others."

I stopped writing because I saw that I was the very type of person I was protesting; one who stands up for one group of people at the expense of another. It was a snare, so I stopped. I had my suspicions that I was thus from my first opinionated piece, but was blind until it became absolutely clear this past spring. I have even more respect today for writers and understand the difficulty they find themselves in when they are passionate about a subject. It's a risky business. I also have a higher respect for writing because of my experience and understand even more deeply what I've always observed; that writing is more than putting pen to paper, but it is an exercise in self-control, weighing words carefully and with an intellectual honesty that not only makes the writer a form of observer, but the best writers are also in their stories and not above them. A course in writing will cure the technicalities, but it is introspection that I have needed most before committing my words to paper. Words affect people, and I want them to be just right. This statement is troublesome to the modern mind, but words mean a lot to me and I respect them and the ones who will hear them.

But I write for a higher purpose than to merely express thoughts.

On this American Thanksgiving Holiday, I am most thankful for the Living God of Heaven Who came in the form of a helpless child who grew in regular human fashion to become a carpenter by trade and die the most cruel death of His day to show that He Is Who He claimed to Be. Because of Him, I have hope in all my relations in this life. Being compatible with others that I might be in relation in family, church or business is not an option; loving others out of God's great Love for me is what drives me, and respecting Him above all because of His power over life and death guides me. This is one facet of the fear of the Lord, which is difficult to describe, but is somehow understandable.

The road is full of trials in this pilgrim's progress, but I pray that my fast from writing is making my words more valuable in the eyes of the Lord and those who seek Him above all, despite not knowing how to always explain my writing philosophy. I don't write to get accolade today, but I have always written as if I were writing for people who lived long ago as well as today and looking forward to those who may read my writings in the future.

Happy Thanksgiving dear friends, and may you find peace in Christ Jesus alone.

The Lord fills in the gaps

2010-01-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

Failure, lack, inadequacy, all these characteristics can be hindrances or they can actually be tools for our spiritual growth. So why any discontent among believers? And when one is discontented, has a gap so to speak in their soul, what next?

I've lived long enough to have had this happen a few times now (the situations will remain anonymous to protect the innocent). My first bout with discontentment lasted way longer than I ever could imagine. I was thrown off guard and didn't know what was happening. But I was just blind, immature. Yet in it all, God's grace washed over me and in time I learned to take those opportunities to grow spiritually.

When I'm tempted to be discontent with something, I must ask myself, is this a real or a perceived problem? Just a thought from experience: Deal with real problems by seeking God's wisdom, but drop perceived problems, and always, always be in prayer (I Timothy 5:17). Like anything, maturing takes time, but those long gaps of silence and ambiguity have a way of tempting us to saying or doing foolish things. The book of James is a great one to meditate on to hang in during any tough time.

When my soul is unsettled, the following has never failed me: Pray, get close to God in fresh study and do my best to listen to others without filters from past experience. What has never helped me is to think that if I could just change others/a situation [using my present understandings of Scripture without bringing my new unsettled situation to God in humble study and prayer], that then the world will be set aright [and a "little" benefit to me is that I'll finally be happy].

My husband John is a construction manager and a gifted carpenter. He uses the old carpenter's motto, "measure twice, cut once." I say this first for me, but feel it worth sharing. It is wise as well in spiritual growth: Think twice [as well as pray twice, study twice, meditate twice, and as John says, two ears, two eyes, one mouth so as to] speak once. And let the Lord fill in the gaps.

Further Thoughts on my piece on Doubt

2010-01-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

In mulling over the great subject of doubt, there was so much I wanted to write but picked one tangent; that is, doubting the world over doubting God. Doubt is a great subject for sure, one that can lead us closer to the Lord or further away. With no academic authority or enough life experience on my part to say "do ABC and it will work all the time," I have nothing in my arsenal except what God's beautiful words in Jude 1:22 say, "Be merciful to those who doubt." By faith, even human understanding can grasp this concept; that is, to show mercy to others or even to myself when [one is] wavering. Square pegs never fit round holes when they're forced toward the mark, but the gentle whittling away of the edges that "don't fit" in the spirit of love is the picture I get as to how to offer mercy to a doubting soul. I pray my attempt in my earlier piece came across in this spirit, and if not, many apologies.

The tricky part of writing encouragement pieces is not to sound like I know it all, and still sometimes I feel I come across that way. But trust me, I know I don't know it all which is why I love what God offers more than any other thing this life has. This is why I write, to say thank you to the people whom God has used in the past to build me up, no matter how great their name (C.S. Lewis, Schaeffer, Sproul, and others), and to those whose names will never be known save among their own. I write to add my little bit to the truth that God is the "answer for everything," He is the end of all things, the omega, the period [or even ellipses when life doesn't make sense].

And when the answer is muddy, He is in the gaps somewhere, loving, instructing, encouraging, guiding my soul to persevere during the unknown, hence, even through any doubt. Doubt in what might happen, doubt in people, doubt in organizations, doubt in life-stuff; wondering if certain things can really be done and done well, done the right way, done productively. Well, if I give up and allow doubt to swallow me, I have no chance to see if "the thing" that I doubt will play out. Only God knows. I also know if I ever doubt Him (can't remember a conscious time when I have-but don't let me sound too "perfect," since I have faults in other areas where He is growing me), He still comes through despite my little faith. How great is He and the Only One to be worshiped.

That's about it and I pray that any doubt that may come your way may become an opportunity to grow closer to Him.

Last Moonrise and Sunset of 2009

2009-12-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

A delicious wind blew past Princess and me as we stepped onto the porch for our last walk of the day, and of 2009. Heading up the hill I saw a giant "round of cheese" rising on the horizon. We ran back to the house, grabbed the camera and positioned ourselves awaiting the orb which was playing peek-a-boo with us behind a cloud. But in a bit, it crowned above the wisp of silver nimbus. Camera in hand I snapped many unsuccessful shots of the lunar rise before settling on this one. Good enough.

As if the breeze and moon weren't gift enough, I turned to see this vision (below), again, a wobbly try to capture the last solar snooze of 2009.

A perfect evening at the McEwen household tonight. I am now headed to the kitchen to fix stroganoff for my knight in shining armor who saved our refrigerator from certain death by noticing a melt down late this afternoon in time to call a repairman. The repairman gave us a generous discount, so we thanked him with a brisket and sauce. He replied, "I'm going to have that tonight. Thanks!" The nice man also told us that fifteen years ago he spent many a night in this [our] house with one of his childhood buddies and was going to call him straight away to tell them about our abode's transformation. Another great gift before the day's end; a great story about our newly remodeled home, knowing it houses some wonderful memories for others.

We are also grateful for a blessed year and pray for loved ones suffering health issues and loved ones traveling, and one special young lady, Sarah, dedicating one year of her life in the Marshall Islands as an adviser/professor for students who are college bound.

2009, you were a good year to us. We will miss you. 2010, welcome!

Keep the Lights Up...

2009-12-25T15:54:00.001-08:00

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
(Isaiah 9:6/NIV)

Since this is the day traditionally celebrated by Christendom as the birth of our Savior, the party hasn't even begun!

The sun is setting here in San Antonio, but somewhere in time 2000 years ago, innocent shepherds were watching their flocks dutifully, quitely in the night on some patch of land in the Middle East. Then a surprise, one unexplainable by technology since the concept, as we know it today in the 21st century, was not even a gleam in the eyes of father time.

"An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.

"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'

"Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'

"When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about...'" (Luke 2:9-14/NIV)

So keep the lights up and remember, maybe silently, maybe by singing carols, maybe through the touch of a loved one or the memory of those long past. But remember the One who gave up the Glories of Heaven to live a common life and die a felon's death, but His death and resurrection have forever bound the gates of hell from having the final word...

Doubt: Faith's Foe or Faith's Friend?

2009-12-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

- Hebrews 11:1-3

Why a picture of the fawn? Because it is evidence of a mother though I never saw her. Why this scripture? Because it speaks of Creation and its Creator for the same reason.

When you have evidence, faith is not needed for all questions are answered. Because all questions are answered, neither will you have doubt for it will be plain. Yet in this world doubt is needed. But doubt in what? How do I know what to doubt? And is doubt always a foe to faith?

Doubt in what? If God is the object of the doubt, there will be hopelessness. But if the world is the object of doubt, faith in God will grow. God is in the process of dissecting our faith in Him from faith in the seen.

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" -Matthew 14:31

How do I know what to doubt? Faith in God (doubting this world) and faith in the world (doubting God) are like the two wolves in an old Native-American tale. The wolf I feed will be the one that grows. I then must chose to grow the true but unseen or the temporary but seen. The famed Presbyterian minister Peter Marshall said, "It is better to fail in a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed in a cause that will ultimately fail." God has won the war over sin and death though we may find ourselves at the losing end in the battles of this age. But God encourages us to hang in, for the tiniest faith in the unseen reality of God can swallow up huge theoretical doubts about His promises.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. -Matthew 21:21

Is doubt always a foe to faith? What happens when a disciple of Christ's doubts the world? Two choices; to fall into commiserating with the popular misery of the moment, or live out the priestly duties of lifting a fallen world to God in prayer constantly, praying for the sick, giving to those who cannot repay, loving the unloving, forgiving the unforgivable and encouraging the faint among a myriad of opportunities to be the feet and hands of Christ. God has called us out of the world, away from fully trusting our physical eyes and He is calling us to be His royal priesthood, donning on the eyes of faith that see well into eternity though this world try to cast doubt in God our way.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -I Peter 2:9

I must apologize at this point if what I have said is coming out wrongly. But I stand by the content though unable to express it even to my own satisfaction. But one thing I have is a lot of love [agape] for my audience and a trust in God's tender mercies for what is lacking. Doubt [in this world] is a gift, for without it there would be no need for faith [in God], which produces hope, and hope looks towards the day of our salvation into an eternal life with God.

But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. -I Thessalonians 5:8

It's a New Day

2009-12-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

You send forth Your Spirit, they are created; And You renew the face of the earth.

-Psalm 104:30

It's a new day and I'm truly happy to be reviving my blog. A red glow caught my eye this morning as I ran through the kitchen. The new day was unfolding in magnificence and I thought about how today is an opportunity to glory in God and reflect it in my life despite yesterday's failings and tomorrow's uncertainties.

I pray you have a wonderful day, and should you be in the middle of a challenge, may you find the courage you need.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
-Psalm 51:10

I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.
-Psalm 89:1

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
-Psalm 118:24

The LORD [is] good to all: and his tender mercies [are] over all his works.
-Psalm 145:9

The Lord within her is righteous; he does no wrong. Morning by morning he dispenses his justice, and every new day he does not fail, yet the unrighteous know no shame.
-Zephaniah 3:5