Thanksgiving through the gift of music

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(Click video for wonderful background music as you read on...)

This song takes me back to my Oklahoma Christian years, a wonderful institution full of good memories, patient professors and the start of friendships that still linger. It's amazing how music has been a part of my life's walk.

We had a lot of music in our home growing up. Roger Miller, Peter Paul & Mary, Trini Lopez, the classics and some jazz. We enjoyed a capella music from Camp Yamhill, Oregon by some precious people who formed a mission team, later working in the city of Belo Horizonte concurrently with my parent's mission team in Sao Paulo.

My parents sang in the car nearly everywhere we went. In fact, my best friend Regina and I loved singing songs in the back of our Volkswagen Kombi; The Monkeys, The Beatles, The Partridge Family, The Osmonds and Jackson Five as well as songs from musicals like The Sound of Music.

Later I collected my own records, Fleetwood Mac's Rumors, ELO, some Styx albums, and yes, Debbie Boone. I played a little guitar and owned nearly every John Denver LP made. For the kids, an LP is short for Long Play vinyl records, the big black disks that look like plate chargers. I actually had the sound track to Star Wars, not knowing I would get to see John Williams perform in person as conductor of the Boston Pops years later when I moved to the Boston area.

While in Boston, as fortune would have it, I got to meet some wonderful singer song writers when I worked for a folk music producer named Harry Lipson, owner of Folk Tree Concertmakers. I took ticket orders over the phone for the concerts, and got to know some of the artists who wrote many of the songs I sang growing up. I worked with great people who taught me a lot about the good things in life through the art of music.

You could say music helped bring my husband and I together, as well as our faith, love of soccer and enjoyment of family. We loved listening to U2 and Sinead O'Connor. John took me to see U2's Achtung Baby and Zooropa concerts. Later John worked one job for Folk Tree, driving folk artist Nanci Griffith and her entourage around. We still have a hand written piece of paper from Nanci's band that was taped to the back seat of the van driver's seat that read, "Today's name is John." When we married, we chose to have dancing at our wedding with many of the songs we enjoyed growing up, including "Dancing Queen" from one of my favorite bands ABBA.

A caveat: The previous part of my post is not meant to offend anyone in my life who has chosen temperance and non-dancing as their expression of devotion to God. It's simply my own history that I am thankful for and enjoy sharing. My wish is you hear gratitude, and not bragging or sounding like I am better or smarter than my relatives, which may somehow be misconstrued. It's simply the generation I grew up in. I have sought to live out my life as a Christian against this background, although I have tremendous respect for the values of the 1950s. I have lived out those same values on a very different stage, post-Ozzy and Harriet America.

Then there have been times when I have reduced my song list to Christian music alone to help me cope through difficulties. But the truth is that Christian music and hymns are a part of a wider portfolio of music I credit God for using to help lift my spirits at opportune times.

Just this morning John and I reiterated our love of filling our own home with music and happiness on the road to doing life. It's been a wonderful gift to marry into a family that appreciates music as well. John's brother Pete, John and I would listen to music each summer on our treck to the annual family vacation spot at Lake Willoughby, VT. John's mother teaches piano and voice. She and I enjoy singing Christmas carols together as we did long ago at the piano with John's sister Cathy.

Today my favorite genres are still light jazz, light classical, Christian, folk, country classics, the best of popular '60s forward. I have barely gotten started as I think of so many more instances where music, family and life have intertwined.

Here is a '70s musical review by a funny man named Tim Hawkins. He is a modern-day Red Skelton. I hope my folks and their contemporaries enjoy this slice of silliness and not think we have strayed far from their path, but instead see the unique opportunities we have to live our faith, family and fun in our own world. I hope that the next generation enjoys the fact that their parents can have as much fun today as ever. I hope all three generations [or more] bond more this Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving my friends!

This post is dedicated to Harry Lipson of Folk Tree Concertmakers. Harry, thank you for giving me the opportunity to work with Folk Tree and your family for so many wonderful years. You are a class act, were a great boss and wonderful mentor in the art of customer service. Have a terrific Thanksgiving in beautiful New England!

Stuff I have learned to date on Disappointment

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Without any pomp, here's a little stream-of-consiousness stuff I've learned from personal experience and observation. If someone else said it before, they get the credit for the big salad!

And in no certain order...

Laugh!     Forgive for real!     Love!     Be Grateful!

                           

Surround yourself with folks who love you when you can, and when you can't, surround yourself with folks you want to be like. You are rich if you have the same loved ones in both camps.

If you don't feel the right way, act the right way and your feelings will follow. Know between you and God that you did the right thing even if no one knows or understands.

If your thinking and feelings are right, always act selflessly when opportunity strikes.

Look at smiling faces. Smile and others smile back. Bless the sour face, and picture them smiling when you leave their presence.

Look at real faces in store lines, not magazine covers.

Have a game night. Start a book club. Learn a new recipe. Volunteer. Go for a walk. Look at nature. Talk less and be amazed more!

Leave work at work, except to tell a positive story. Even then temper it with other interests.

Listen more to other's stories, and find at least one positive thing that impresses you, then express it.

Seek counsel from trusted friends. Pay experts for counsel if you have to. Figure some stuff out, and move along. If others don't see what you value in your life, give them time. Life tempers us all with grace.

Look the person in the eye who is giving you grief, even if only in your thoughts. You will see someone whom Jesus cares about deeply.

Disconnect with toxic people or certain toxic conversation topics for a short season, but only to return someday a better person. But do return!

Offer help more, control/avoid less.

Create more, destroy less and avenge never.

Correct with caution and humility, and always with the other's well-being in mind.

Say "yes" to the things God has for you, and "no" to the things that keep the first category from working.

     

Thrive and smile whether order or chaos are your method of operation (m.o.), and give others leeway to be who they are when their m.o. doesn't match yours.

Pray more, worry less.

Listen more to the wisdom from admirable books or having coffee or a meal with loved ones. Decide at the outset that you will find joy in it all, even when you learn that you did or are doing some stuff incorrectly!

Be loyal, and be there with a smile if nothing else.

Forgive those who want more of you than you can give.

Forgive those who don't believe in your abilities and dreams.

Forgive those who sought to encourage you only to fall on their faces and misunderstand you.

Be happy and grateful for those who get things you never got-it will make you twice as happy!

Sit quietly with the grieving, and don't draw them out, or you will push them deeper into grief. Note to self: See the ineffectiveness of Job's well-meaning friends.

Love the critic and consider the lesson, without letting that person control you. No one can control us except we let them. God is in control. I am either on the calms or the roller-coaster. In it all, it's all good!

Move your body as much as possible every day! It lights up the brain and keeps you vital and strong.

Love, love, love your closest relations, getting to know them for what they will allow you to. If they have disappointed you, talk to them, or move on. But don't neglect them, especially when they want to stay in touch and are happy for you!

Kick guilt and shame in the pants when they combat your joyful spirit. True contrition is one thing, but it's momentary, not monumental. Guilting and shaming others to control them is absolutely wrong, and neither let them do it to you!

Fortune was given you to enjoy and share. And if misspent, learn the lesson and get on to the next opportunity.

Lean in more deeply to the love that covers all wrongdoing!

That's it for now, my friends.

U2 and Burned Cookies

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It was summer, 1987. My sister Andreia and I hung around together a lot.

A couple of things stand out; U2's Joshua Tree album played almost incessantly and burned cookies.

 

One day Mom and Dad left to run an errand and I popped some cookies in the oven. When I returned to take them out, I noticed flames where the cookies were supposed to be. 

Now, let me describe the set up.

Mom and Dad were living in a two-story condo, and next door lived a single mom, Sanna and her son, Joey, about my sister's age. They were good neighbors full of good humor.

I had just read that if you have an oven fire to leave the door closed and turn off the oven. Call the fire department immediately.

So I did.

It seemed like all of Edmond's fire departments showed up, about seven trucks including a couple of grass trucks and the fire chief's truck.

 

By then Sanna and Joey had joined us along with some other neighbors on our lawn as we watched the fully-clad fire fighters rush into our condo.

One of them emerged with the pan filled with burned cookies that were still smoking. I don't recall what he said, but he we all laughed. All ended up well.

No sooner had the last fire truck rounded the corner on their exit from our neighborhood, Mom and Dad drove around the other corner into the neighborhood. I recall them asking what was going on and getting a laugh at the timing of it all.

I enjoy laughing. My mother's family especially has the corner on that commodity. 

I enjoy being with my sister. I have very good memories. Even in the worst of times, I'd rather be with family and enjoying my sister's humor and perspective on things.

I dedicate this post to a most dedicated wife, mother, educator and business owner, my sister. It's always good to see your smiling face and hear your humor! It makes life worth the ride :-)

(Full album)

You Raise Me Up!

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When I hear "You Raise Me Up," it reminds me of my brother, Richard. An encourager, giving without wanting anything in return. I have sought to imitate this trait and not come anywhere close to the person I saw in Richard. He was one of a kind.

He checked in with me almost daily. I loved getting his calls. When I called, he replied. I enjoyed hearing stories about the children, hoping one day to have some of my own. He made it so appealing.

Yet, he never pressed my husband and I to have children. He accepted us as we were. He didn't pry or manipulate. He just gave genuine love and listening, and in the end, we usually laughed about something.

I am sorry for anyone who didn't truly get to know this wonderful man as an adult. You missed out. I am also sorry for any of his classmates who lost touch with him. You would have been proud of the man Richard became.

He was the son of a missionaries whose impetus was helping people. I am very thankful for that heritage. Richard took that and grew it into a healthy, God-loving personality despite having heart problems from birth.

I am a better person today for having known Richard Huff. I was even more fortunate that he was my brother.

So I dedicate this piece to Richard and to his family who still today reflect Richard's best traits: sense of humor, focused work ethic and selflessness towards others. I hope this raises you up as it did me, and calls back wonderful memories of wonderful times with Richard!. Enjoy!



Be your family's biggest fan!



Say nice things behind their back, and it will be easy to love on them in person!

Say nice things about them in front of them, and it will be easier to be apart from them!

I have not always done these things successfully, but have implemented this tact for many years. Enough to know it works.





My father used to say when I was growing up, "Give people flowers while they are living." He is a minister and has done so many funerals and heard over and over again how the living wished they had done and said nicer things to the deceased.

Look at pictures of happy times, and it will make you happy all over again and in a better disposition to talk to your family!

Forgive the bad times, quickly!



If you have put your family member in any kind of box, let them out quickly! When you don't, you are burying them prematurely!

First do no harm to others, but don't martyr yourself either. Smile when it hurts, and the salve of love with protect both you and your loved ones.

 



Only find humor in others that they find in themselves, and find humor in yourself, then let others in on the joke! You can both enjoy a great laugh. Laughter bonds!

When you can't be there in person, text, email or call! When someone connects with you in this way, respond! Only the dead don't respond. The living always stay connected! If you don't respond, they will have no choice but to interpret that they are irrelevant to you.





Send encouragement notes! Say thank you to even the smallest encouragement!

Don't be a critic and kill a relationship with a thousand nicks! Instead, build your family's emotional house with a thousand bricks of kindness!



Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up on family! You are their advocate! The world sees them through your eyes, and if your eyes are clouded, it's time to spend some quality time with family! If others try to separate you from your family through jealousy or because they sense you are unhappy, get right quick, set your friends straight, and honor your parents and family always! It's worth the effort!



Always say I am sorry!

Off to love my family today...

This post is dedicated to my family, natural, married-into, spiritual and friends who've been as close as family!