Swimming Sideways

 

I got caught in an undertow in the 7th Grade. Our school took the 7th-12th graders on a fun outing to one of the most beautiful beaches of my childhood.

My best friend couldn't go, so I ventured out into the water alone. The water was so refreshing. I floated, looked up at the beautiful clouds and daydreamed about everything!

When it came time to swim back to shore, something caught my foot. I now understand why we need swimming buddies. I had never heard of an undertow. It was strong, pulling me out to sea fast. I paddled as hard as I could, flailing sometimes, but wasn't giving up. 

I then noticed something: The surface water was going into shore, and if I could stay on top and swim in, I knew I'd make it. 

But it wasn't so simple as the undertow was about two feet below me, so dipping just slightly into that current whisked me back out to sea.

I yelled for help, but the people behind me and the people on the beach didn't respond. All I wanted was to be on dry land with my friends, having a good time. 

Meanwhile, I rested from time to time by floating and enjoying the Windows 95 day.

The real ordeal lasted about 30 minutes, but it felt longer. Once I got to shore, it took what felt like another 30 minutes to find my group. Being nearsighted didn't help either. I know I was a sight to strangers peeking under umbrellas.

I don't think I was ever so happy as the moment I found my friends! I recall flopping down on the sand, exhausted. I believe I fell asleep for a long time as I looked like a boiled lobster that night. It took me a couple of days to heal and I missed school the following Monday.

But then I was as good as new! I thanked God for literally slowing my mind down enough to run a viable solution passed my panic.

You'd think I'd hate the beach, but it is one of my favorite places. I can't wait to get there, set up the umbrella and wade out into the water!

Maybe you are in a circumstantial undertow. Maybe it's been so long that you wonder if you ever were on dry land. You yell for help. No one comes. You try to describe what's going on. It seems unreal. No response. People do care, but may not understand what's going on. It's okay. 

As Dori in Finding Nemo says, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

But yes, you were on dry land once. You basked in the sunshine and felt the wind on your face, and you will again. Get the rest you need. You've gone through something big, but it didn't get you down. 

Now you're ready to tell your story. If you try to tell it in the middle of the panic, it will come out wrong, backwards, upsidedown. But once you've rested, you will realize by God's loving grace you got through it and are stronger, kinder, more patient and a better listener. And now you can help others with the lessons you learned. In fact, you may find some humor in parts of your story given time.

I can still see the people jumping when I looked under the umbrellas. I jumped myself. In fact, I am so glad I happened to pick the right direction when I headed up the beach. Imagine if I had chosen the other direction? They might still be looking for me!

Someone told me later in life what to do if caught in an undertow:

Swim sideways.

It can be a handy life philosophy as well.

Swimming sideways can be whatever it takes to get you out of any life loop; it's healing, it's rescue, it's life-saving. If you try to swim into shore, you will exhaust yourself.

Just swim sideways...not forwards, not backwards, sideways as fast as you can and you'll be away from the current quicker than you can say "something's got my foot and I can't get out"!

But you can get out.

In these unprecedented times, I echo the words being said globally, We'll get through this. I don't say this idealistically, nor disrespectfully, but I truly believe we will.

We will hug again, kiss on the cheeks, high five, chest bump, feel the love, have dreams and build a better tomorrow.

In closing, I thank God for our emergency and medical workers, our leaders, entertainers who keep us laughing, and family and friends who comfort and keep us connected! What are you thankful for?

Stuff I have learned to date on Disappointment

If pictures & videos for the blog don't come up in your email, click here: Coffee At My Table

Without any pomp, here's a little stream-of-consiousness stuff I've learned from personal experience and observation. If someone else said it before, they get the credit for the big salad!

And in no certain order...

Laugh!     Forgive for real!     Love!     Be Grateful!

                           

Surround yourself with folks who love you when you can, and when you can't, surround yourself with folks you want to be like. You are rich if you have the same loved ones in both camps.

If you don't feel the right way, act the right way and your feelings will follow. Know between you and God that you did the right thing even if no one knows or understands.

If your thinking and feelings are right, always act selflessly when opportunity strikes.

Look at smiling faces. Smile and others smile back. Bless the sour face, and picture them smiling when you leave their presence.

Look at real faces in store lines, not magazine covers.

Have a game night. Start a book club. Learn a new recipe. Volunteer. Go for a walk. Look at nature. Talk less and be amazed more!

Leave work at work, except to tell a positive story. Even then temper it with other interests.

Listen more to other's stories, and find at least one positive thing that impresses you, then express it.

Seek counsel from trusted friends. Pay experts for counsel if you have to. Figure some stuff out, and move along. If others don't see what you value in your life, give them time. Life tempers us all with grace.

Look the person in the eye who is giving you grief, even if only in your thoughts. You will see someone whom Jesus cares about deeply.

Disconnect with toxic people or certain toxic conversation topics for a short season, but only to return someday a better person. But do return!

Offer help more, control/avoid less.

Create more, destroy less and avenge never.

Correct with caution and humility, and always with the other's well-being in mind.

Say "yes" to the things God has for you, and "no" to the things that keep the first category from working.

     

Thrive and smile whether order or chaos are your method of operation (m.o.), and give others leeway to be who they are when their m.o. doesn't match yours.

Pray more, worry less.

Listen more to the wisdom from admirable books or having coffee or a meal with loved ones. Decide at the outset that you will find joy in it all, even when you learn that you did or are doing some stuff incorrectly!

Be loyal, and be there with a smile if nothing else.

Forgive those who want more of you than you can give.

Forgive those who don't believe in your abilities and dreams.

Forgive those who sought to encourage you only to fall on their faces and misunderstand you.

Be happy and grateful for those who get things you never got-it will make you twice as happy!

Sit quietly with the grieving, and don't draw them out, or you will push them deeper into grief. Note to self: See the ineffectiveness of Job's well-meaning friends.

Love the critic and consider the lesson, without letting that person control you. No one can control us except we let them. God is in control. I am either on the calms or the roller-coaster. In it all, it's all good!

Move your body as much as possible every day! It lights up the brain and keeps you vital and strong.

Love, love, love your closest relations, getting to know them for what they will allow you to. If they have disappointed you, talk to them, or move on. But don't neglect them, especially when they want to stay in touch and are happy for you!

Kick guilt and shame in the pants when they combat your joyful spirit. True contrition is one thing, but it's momentary, not monumental. Guilting and shaming others to control them is absolutely wrong, and neither let them do it to you!

Fortune was given you to enjoy and share. And if misspent, learn the lesson and get on to the next opportunity.

Lean in more deeply to the love that covers all wrongdoing!

That's it for now, my friends.

Brave Boston Bounces Back!

4:44 Minutes. The Fenway Congregation sings out!

These are solely my views and given gratefully to a city that forever changed me.

One week ago tonight our former home town was grieving the loss of three persons and over one hundred injured after a senseless double-bombing took place at the 4:09 hour mark, just yards away from the finish line at the historic Boston Marathon.

My husband is from the Boston area. I lived there 13 years. Tough and tender, the home of patriot descendents, compassionate people to a fault and expressive ad infinitum. It is not a town that will go quietly into that good night, it will stand up and fight-it's got bite! These are just the facts, and not my opinion.

Ask anyone whose ever lived in Boston. It's a dynamic town filled with every sport, universities, culture, scientific discovery and medical progress, not to mention the quaint towns, conversant populous, beautiful beaches and an hour's drive away from some mountain ranges caressed with the fresh air that can only come from living that far north. It is also the home to the first European settlers, church planters and seminary starters. This is not a commentary on the current spiritual state of Boston, but a tribute to a city that has taught the world something important this week. Graceful resilience.

4:30 Minutes. I saw Neil Diamond in the 1980s - One of the best concerts I ever saw

One of my favorite times of the year was the Boston Marathon. I believe I got to stand on the sidelines at least five, if not six times. At one point, if I'm not mistaken, we stood near where the first bomb went off. Our hearts hurt for our former home townies. We didn't let it keep us from our day's work, but John and I caught the news every morning to stay informed. Until Friday, that is, when we sat glued to the manhunt in Watertown almost all day. A beloved MIT cop was gunned down by the two suspects. Suspect 1 lost his life that night.

A side bar-For anyone not familiar with the running culture, it is a peace-loving, hard working and fun culture. But it is a strong culture, one dedicated to bettering one's health and using running as therapy and personal character building. Who knows, but that those two suspects, had they given themselves to running rather than hatred, what a different story it would have been for them and the city of Boston.

I think the video says it all. Though, spiritually speaking, Bostonians are miles away from the ideas that the missionaries and seminaries established four hundred years ago, the flower still has some bloom. People don't just overnight become persons of true resilience; they become that way because somewhere they were taught and it was passed down through generations. I believe this is so because the Bible once had preeminence in that great city. It's effects still linger though it is slowly being pushed out of New England's consciousness.

Who knows, but that the Bible will make its way back into the Boston psyche one day. God indeed sure loves them according to His Word.

Boston, thanks for all you taught me in my years up there. I am so so thankful to have been a Yankee for thirteen years.

May you sleep well this night after a week of nightmare and heartache, fear and courage, cooperation with authorities and the capture of a well-documented suspect that no more damage be done. You're wide awake now. Thank God. He's there.

P.S.-As if that wasn't news enough, I believe last week was a record-breaker for news. The Boston Marathon Bombing happened on April 15th, not only Patriot's day (the 3rd Monday of each April), but it was also tax day. On Wednesday, April 17th, there was another fatal explosion in West, Texas, outside of Waco. A fertilizer plant exploded in a small community killing at least 14 at last count, and injuring hundreds. Then there were record lows, including here in San Antonio where we should have been pushing 90 since February, yet we've enjoyed 70s with lows into the 40s. There has been severe weather all over the country, and an earthquake in China. The gun control issue, and illegal immigration issues have heated up and taken different turns because of last week's events. And yet, in it all...

May God continue to bless America, and all other countries who put Him first!

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, The people He has chosen as His own inheritance." -Psalm 33:12

24 Minutes, but well worth the watch. (FYI-Applause is muted)

This post is dedicated to my husband John, who is my best friend, a marathon runner and one who never gives up in the face of adversity, having one of the most handsome smiles I've ever seen! For my family who supported me when I lived up north and my new family I married into, not to mention the Ketchen-Lipson family whom I lived with for four years (hugs to Sarah and Andy, who works at Fenway!), my church family and my co-workers at Folktree, Healthworks, HQ and EG&G (Now PerkinElmer, Corp).

Training in the Valleys and on the Mountaintops

Having walk/run three half-marathons at this point, it's important to be faithful in training for a successful race. But faithfulness does not mean perfect adherence to the rules of training, but obedience to one who has obeyed all the rules and now has authority to teach those rules.

I follow Hal Higdon's training advice on half-marathon preparation because he wants people to finish their race regardless of whether they are strong or struggle the whole way. As a disciple of Christ, I follow Christ who followed God perfectly. So I listen. He is also my Coach, my Partner and Encourager as I train spiritually.

He is a good coach and teacher who teaches understanding that a new student grows into being a good student. No student starts as strongly as their teacher, but in time, students can grow to be strong in the traits the teacher is conveying.

Now that I have my coach, how do I deal with my questions and doubts? Some thoughts from my arsenal of mental gymnastics which have also served to help me spiritually.

Isn't training unnatural? Yes, but the new habits formed eventually become natural.

If I start training during a mountaintop season of life, what will I do when I come to a valley? You'll set up good habits when you find a valley before you. One rule to count on: Valleys are always unexpected, but there will always be at least one in any training period of your life; be it small or great.

If I start training during a valley season of my life, what do I do if I never come to a mountaintop? You will build muscles that allow you to run faster when you're on top of the world again, having been set free from former bondage!

If I succeed where others have failed, won't I become arrogant? Not if you harness the arrogance, turn it into genuine humble thanksgiving to God for the opportunity to grow strong and use it as a tool in God's service. And when people compliment you, just hug them (if you're a hugger), say thanks and no more.

Every day is going to be different, but there is something every day that can train us to become better at who we are as humans and as followers of Christ if we allow it. Physical training requires cross training, as does spiritual training.

In physical training, cross training pays attention not only to the major muscle groups and motions used in an activity as well as the seemingly minor ones. If a minor one is weak, it tends to affect even the strong muscles and motions of the body. So cross training works different body parts with different exercises under different conditions at different intensities for the sole purpose of becoming stronger and better at your activity.

Spiritually speaking, this means that we are always in training. That is, training different spiritual disciplines against different life backdrops for God's glory. Feeding our minds on what is important spiritually plays into how we work out our life practically. The apostle Paul says that physical training does some good, but Godly training is the best training!

Does this mean it's always an either/or proposition; meaning if I have time to work out or read the Bible I should always chose the Bible? Maybe.

One idea is to exchange the comfort food of media surfing for some hearty reading of God's Word and a walk or weight training. You can do both if you have a Bible or other good Godly books, sermons, thoughts and music downloaded on your smartphone.

It is best to train what we have, while we can, when we can, even if it's a small amount of time, for it eventually gives great returns.

But what about that guilt that comes because I wasn't prepared for my work out? I should have been doing this all along and then it wouldn't be so hard! What I've learned is that even guilt can be used for good if processed correctly. But this only works if it's Godly guilt, and not that nagging guilt that likes to hold us back.

Godly guilt may be a good and necessary motivator to start any discipline, but once the new habit is started, Godly guilt has done it's job. The guilt one feels going forward is just plain old unGodly baggage guilt. This guilt is a horrible coach. It is now our loving Christ's job to step in and finish the job!

Jesus helps us to get rid of any regret and other baggage once starting on any new regime. Remember to be thankful and glory in the ability to finally do the thing you should have been doing all along! As it becomes habit, you will now be prepared for the next challenge, whether a mountaintop or valley, and the new lessons it will bring.

This post is dedicated to my friend Denell Dennis who is on a fantastic journey of lifetime fitness!