New Shoes

Listening to one of my favorite groups as I write this piece. I was introduced to Bread by the Norton family while living in Brazil during my Jr. High years...Enjoy a little background music while reading...

"Make It With You" Lyrics Link

 

I need to replace these shoes...

Smelly, story-laden shoes

They are comfy, still have a lot of life, but a bit smelly...even when I wear socks! I hate replacing them, but the scent of feet in unbreathable shoes is getting to me, not to mention my husband and daughter. They've been kind and laugh when I remove my shoes and run to the bathroom to wash my feet.



My Monika and Me

But these sturdy shoes need to bless someone else's feet with the rest of the life they have ahead. I spent yesterday shopping with Monika looking for a replacement, but no dice yet. I must endure the ripe olfactory wisps until then.

But I will miss them. They have a story to tell...

I got them around February of 2006, right before my Bammel church women's retreat. I was asked to lead the singing that year and nervous as a cat on its way to getting a bath.

But Mom taught me years ago if I am asked to help out at church, and can do it, just do it. It will bless me and others.

How right you were mom!


My amazing Mother!

I sang my heart out...maybe too much...but what a great retreat that was! I recall traveling to the retreat with my good friend then Dollwyn, and hearing wonderful lessons about how being in the family of God is akin to royalty, and to never ever forget it as long as I live!


I have not. It's guided me when the externals threaten otherwise.

What I remember when I look at my shoes is the role Bammel played in my life. John and I had been married 10 years when we began attending church there. He was a New-Englander come Texan four years prior. Bammel had a profound impact on my early spiritual formation and I wanted him to know this group of people too, and hoped they had not changed. But they had...they had only gotten better!

Boston

I first heard of Bammel when my youth group went for a youth retreat from our then temporary home of four months in Corpus Christi to Houston for a weekend. We had so much fun that weekend while growing our personal faith in God. I made new friends as a newly transplanted MK from Brazil to the US, and was made to feel so at home because of the love I saw radiated at Bammel.

When we began attending Bammel in 2004, John and I were welcomed with open arms and enfolded by Michael Montalvo, a wonderful minister that reached out to John and made him feel as if time and space had never separated them as brothers.

Houston

Gail Matthews was my mentor, allowing me to stretch a newly found gift; writing. She put me right to work editing a quarterly women's newsletter. I so enjoyed each newsletter we published with the help of a dedicated staff. I learned so much from the other contributors, namely Holly Lewis whose writings on motherhood watered my dreams of being a mother one day. I also enjoyed researching and writing my own pieces; it got me out of my head and focused on the good things God was laying on my heart to share.

I will always have great memories of Bammel because of these shoes. Though we are back in Houston, and not at Bammel, I still have great respect and admiration for the theology and work Bammel does, and look forward to events we can share together as lovers of Jesus!

There are so many other reasons Bammel has a piece of my heart...too many to go into, but know it's all good!!!



Catfishing with my awesome Father!

Since we left Bammel in 2007 a lot of life happened. One of the best lessons I learned during that time was what my father taught me long ago; appreciate those you love while you can, because you never know when you won't have them anymore.
So during some years we were away from Houston, I sought to appreciate my family and current friends more while reaching out to new friends. I learned a lot of lessons; mostly that it's easier said than done, but not impossible, for in the end, reaching out is always worth the attempt no matter the outcome! Thanks Dad!

Glad to be back in Houston by my folks! They're super grandparents to seven grands already, and will be getting their eighth grand in Monika!


With my sweetie hanging out at our San Antonio home!

You see, John and I are first-time parents! A quick note about us and our marriage of 21 years: If either of us had a seven-year itch, it was not evident. We so enjoy each other's company. Now at mid-life, we are chosing parenthood over crisis and loving it!

John is an amazing carpenter, landscaper, business-owner when he ran an irrigation company, faithful employee, focused worker, Financial Peace University facilitator with a teacher's heart, runner, soccer-lover, beloved friend! I could go on, but you get the picture. He's near perfect and only getting better. We are each other's mutual admiration society and have never doubted for an instant that God formed our lives in such a way as to "bump into each other" when we did. For the day we started dating, we never looked back and there were never any others...just so grateful!


First family selfie

And now, back to our story...

We just gave life to a bouncing beautiful teenager named Monika and are living the dream!

I was wondering how I'd introduce this piece of news onto Coffee...but timing and story are everything...and this is the point in the story of our lives when I can reveal our latest happiness!

So as I go shopping for new shoes, I am reminded of all the good "new's" I have had in my life... new loyal friends when moving to the US at 14 years of age, new experiences when I went off to an inspirational college-OC, new first adult job in Boston with the incomparable Ketchen-Lipson family, new husband, new start in Houston 6 years into our married life, new dreams of children and finally a new daughter to love and share our wisdom, wit and wonder with!

I can't find a period, so I'll end as my mother does, "let's put a comma here..."

***

This piece is dedicated to my husband, family and non-blood kin, particularly Harry Lipson who has encouraged me lately to keep writing my Coffee At My Table blog after a lot of time away! Harry, you're a wonderful friend, great husband to a super-woman in Bev, father to two of the kindest human beings I know-Sarah & Andy-my beloved charges of days long past, a big-brother persona, great mentor and former employer, and the most knowledgeable person on Texas music sending me the latest and greatest from your computer in Arlington, MA with the most breath-taking view of Boston!!!

Some thoughts on having peace in the middle of the storm

We have massive thunderstorms in our area today. In fact, the country has been riddled with unusual upheavals of tornado, hail, wind and unstable weather activity.

The weather has been harshest to those in the southwest, particularly parts of northern Texas and Oklahoma.

In our family we are all reacting differently according to our realities.

My sister is first on the list of heroes. She and her husband and children are seeking to help those in their area who have been less fortunate, including a family who lost everything to a recent flood.

Others are staying put as getting out in this weather may pose more of a hazard.

That's me.

With parents who count on us, it's not wise to rescue others at our parent's expense. They need us here and now. Meanwhile I continue to work at my desk and stay tuned to the weather.

I also know I am privileged to have the time to blog at will and don't take it for granted. I am very grateful and seek to use my words wisely and in a way that leaves you better for having visited my writings.

John, on the other hand, is out making it happen. He's "hunting something down and killing it" so we can have dinner tonight, if you know what I mean. The weather is not keeping him in, partly because his work is not where the most severe troubles are. Yet, the troubles are all around. He understands the risk and is tuned in and ready to get to higher ground if needed.

I could be frantic, but chose focus.

I could chose to fixate on horror, but chose humor.

I could be jittery, but chose joy.

I could chose non-sanity, but I chose service.

I could be worried, but chose wisdom.

I could panic, but chose peace.

Check with me at the end of the day to see if I met my goals. My prayer is you'll pray for me as much as I am praying for you in your circumstances. We need each other, and it's so good to know people are wishing you the best where ever you are, and they know you are wishing them the best.

I have work to do today. So do you.

May you find peace within in the middle of the storms that rage without.

Finally, may we all make peace with the past,

preside over our present-day well

and feel deeply optimistic about the future.

For I believe more today God blesses those

who stay connected with their own

and who realistically seek to bless everyone in their path.

This post is dedicated to all the trained workers, reliable rescuers and loving volunteers who serve those affected by the storms of life.

Nature that Nurtures the Soul

I am nearly finished with Philip Yancey's book "Soul Survivor," and constantly feel he has taken a walk through my mind, asking the same questions and looking for them using the same methods I use. And yet, Mr. Yancey continues to challenge me practically, stretch me mentally and provide a safe place for my emotions as I continue learning how to express encouragement to others.

I so enjoy reading one who appreciates nature as John and I do and weaves it into real life, uses it to train his psychological acuity and expresses his gratitude for the material world.

 

Want to take a free vacation?

 

Take a walk or go for a bike ride. 

 

Want to meditate on God when the Bible does not make sense?

Look at the skies.

 

 

Want to show friendship when there are no humans to be found?

 

Love on a pet.

G.K. Chesterton stated in his book Orthodoxy that "Nature is not our mother, Nature is our sister."

To walk with Bible in hand staring only at it's printed words while under God's cathedral of Creation misses the stage on which God's play is playing out.



He gave us bodies to use, care for and nurture in order to help teach others how to do it better.




He gave us a mind to use, educate and churn out ideas in order to help those created in His image know more about God and His purposes.

 

He gave us emotions to use, harness their energy and focus on expressing truth to serve humanity.

 


We may seek a normal and placid existence, but the truth is, this state is only best and realistically lived out in our soul. I believe this is true inner peace.

The design also includes the ability to redeem one's body through exercise and proper nutrition, through education and artistic expression & productive innovation of any kind.

Annie Dillard said, "Beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will sense them. The least we can do is try to be there...so that creation need not play on an empty house."

 

I believe that Creator wants us to enjoy his gift, find solutions to better our lives and share them with others.

Or God would not have made nature to compliment us.

People Are My Books & Books Are My People

When I was younger, I wasn’t a great reader. In fact, I didn’t try to read because the people around me served as my books.

I was the type that would start a book and not finish it, then feel guilty years later associating personal failure with my lack of finishing books, and other things. 

So I made a decision sometime in my late teens that I would finish books I started, unless they were irrelevant.

I began journaling in Jr. High. Life was exciting and I didn’t want to forget one drop of it!

Journaling helped me preserve the best memories about my friends and family. Later, journaling helped me sort through emotions in my personal development. Journaling has also served as a way to thank God for his gifts, for recording answered prayers and as a general talking back to God.

Doodling in school transformed into writing my thoughts down at work when life felt overwhelming, or when I was navigating my own belief system, trying to learn what had not been specifically taught or shoring up a conviction in the middle of a difficult situation.

About eleven years ago I decided to take writing seriously. My creative side had transformed from a visual artist – the one that got the art scholarships to college – into a creature who couldn’t stop thinking about life and thanking God and others for their contributions to my blessed life.

I read recently that overnight success takes about 15 years. I may get there yet, but meanwhile I write. I read books cover to cover about themes and people whom I admire, seek to imitate [until my own voice develops more], and then write about at some point.

I don’t beat myself up any more about not having been a cover-to-cover reader as a child, because now I understand that people were my books. From the missionary team my parents were a part of, to the rich landscape of Brazilians I grew up with - and others cultures in Brazil - each person was a book in progress. Each life a story to savor, enjoy, laugh and cry with.  

Now I am understanding that books can be my people. When there are no contemporaries that I can connect with on a certain topic, I can find a book by someone who resonates with what I am seeking. I am richer for the good gifts of books and unending stories that reflect the living God, even subtly.

Heroic Happiness

"...and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge..." ¹

 

–—

In the Book "Soul Survivor",² Phillip Yancey writes of G.K. Chesterton, a loved British theologian:


"...[Chesterton] had been struggling with despair, evil, and the meaning of life, and had even approached mental breakdown. When he emerged from that melancholy, he sought to make a case for optimism amid the gloom of such a world."

I thought of Ebenezer Scrooge who had been visited by the ghost of Christmas past where lived unforgiveness. He then encountered the Ghost of Christmas present stately planted in stoicism. Finally Scrooge saw his ultimate fate. Eternal unhappiness.

But in his dark night of the soul, Ebenezer Scrooge made a decision.

Interpretation mine: I will serve those around me the best I can with what I have, and I will start with my nephew and his happy though ill son, Tim.

It only took one step, a change of attitude. Then the clouds parted. Scrooge changed some things including his circumstances and his friends. And happiness lived happily in his heart ever after, affecting those around him.

Choosing heroic happiness is rooted in deep joy born of so many things, including injustice, adversity and loss. It can continue to flow like a fountain all the days of our life should we chose it.

I sincerely believe today that happiness begins the moment we know truly for ourselves that God Is and will never leave us so long as we live. And should we chose to follow Him, the more we obey him in good conscious, the happier we get, even if things get tough. When doubts come, read The Beatitudes -- The Be Attitudes!

As we continue growing in this Truth all the days of our life, the gift of  Happiness grows as well.

Self-gratification is happiness rooted in fleeting pleasure. But pleasure in its best form merely mirrors God, who was pleased when he created this world in its perfect state.

When we decide to be happy and find pleasure the way God designed it, it continues to repay not only us, but those around us.

So when you smile today, don't think of it as a mask, think of it as a deep well that is rooted in heroic happiness. You will find your well filled to brimming over!

Watch the clouds part, if only in your heart! And don't forget to pass along good news and good stories along the way!

¹ Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol." 

Isn't Forgiveness Freeing?

I would love to hear you funniest or most sober or most touching story arising from a misunderstanding.



Me first.

Funniest...

An old college friend and myself were catching up a few years ago and we were having a lot of laughs. I then told her I felt bad about something I did in college and she said, "I don't recall that at all! But let me tell you what I've been feeling bad about all these years," and she shared something bad she felt she did to me that I had no recollection of!!! We then had another good laugh and it killed the bad story line we had been telling ourselves.

How many potential old friends are out there waiting reconciliation if only someone would give the other a chance? Has it been one, five or ten years? A lot can happen in a week, let alone a year or more. Chances are people have grown and there is something redeemable in reconnecting. Who knows, you might find out you are more alike, more forgiving or more of something better by letting others out of their box, or freeing the frozen memory from your mind!



Isn't forgiveness freeing?

Your turn!

Friends love at all times

I get the daily quote from simpletruths.com every morning. This morning's quote spoke to me:

“A friend is someone who understands
your past, believes in your future,
and accepts you just the way you are.”

~  Anonymous

I have lived long enough to understand that there are people who don't understand my past, who don't believe in my future and who don't accept me as I am.

It's okay.

There are plenty who do. I'll bet there are those for you as well.

However, they are true who are true online as well as in person. It's time to move on when others are moving away from us or when we are moving away from them. We can still be respectful, but the end of friendships in their present form is a must to move forward in life.

The true friend follows us in and out of life no matter the circumstance.

I went through a dry spell with my friends many years ago. It was just the stage and circumstance of my life. But today I am grateful beyond belief for having gone through that time of testing. It tempered me. It showed me my true and valued friends. I am better for having been through that desert. It's made me a better friend and more appreciative of the brevity of life and the need to focus on what's important.

In counting my blessings through my present friendships, I came up with too many to mention, but here are a few friendship experiences that have built me up recently.

A recent conversation this week with my sister Andreia merely inquiring about a project John and I are working on meant the world to me.

A phone call from my newest friend Linda just checking in started my day out correctly!

A visit from my cousin Stephanie and my Aunt Lucia was all the therapy I needed for a trial I was working through.

A car ride from Houston to Oklahoma City with some of our best friends Lisa and Jason was filled with laughter and good memories for years to come.

A workout with my sister-in-law Mary Louise on a recent visit to Florida bonded us more.

An impromptu visit with one of my best friends Charla on that same recent Florida trip allowed me to meet the parents of a friend I've had for a quarter century and now know where she first learned how to laugh and learn to do life!

A recent conversation with my best friend Kathy from junior high reminded me I can pick up the phone and be where I always am with her, loved and able to love unconditionally!

There are so many more I could mention. I am rich with friends.

My friends ARE my Facebook. One day I may get back on the social media site. But for today, this works for me. And I want to say thanks for the many real friends I have and look forward to the many that are to come!

Be blessed friends and know you are a blessing to me!

Snow Falls

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Snow Falls

Snow falls quietly before snow balls start flying

Ice feels good breaking on the face

The players smile

Cold
Wet
Sloshing down the neck

Friends hide, planning and packing snow
Then firing balls feverishly, trying to avoid a hit

Red faces
Cold hands
Tears drop from the cold
Hands need a fire
But laugher surrounds

And in the end
There is peace
As friends wobble around
Arm in arm
Feet crunch on the newly fallen snow

In the distance
The way distance,
A mother calls her children home to dinner
And it sounds as if she is there beside them

Snow
Beautiful and white
Magnifying sound
Fun to play in
Hard to plow sometimes
And it gets brown and hard when it stays too long

When it's gone
We are glad
But memories linger on...

This post is dedicated to our friends and family in New England as you weather another snow storm!

The Healing Power of Good Art

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My father just had a kidney removed over a week ago. My sister and her husband drove all night to be with Dad for the surgery. My sister-in-law and our niece were there also.

While Dad was in recovery, the six of us sat in the waiting area. The surgeon walked up to my mother. The look on his face told us that something was amusing him.

"Mrs. Huff, your husband is singing in recovery." I asked if it was The Girl from Ipanema, and the good doctor replied, "I don't know, but everyone is enjoying the singing." Later that evening after Dad got settled in his room, his nurse let my mother and me know we could go in.

He told us his name was Gabriel and added, "He's taught me some Portuguese and I am teaching him some Spanish." Later Mom told me his name was appropriate as he had that extra gift of grace in all of his dealings with Dad. He told Mom that he liked to treat his patients the way he'd treat his own parents.

So I asked Gabriel if had heard Dad sing, specifically The Girl from Ipanema. At that moment, Dad, still in his half-wakened state began softly singing The Girl... Knowing the song, Gabriel chimed in matching Dad's volume as not to disturb the other patients.

As I have mentioned in other blog posts, my early years were filled with all kinds of music. Though my father is a minister and we love singing in church and singing hymns outside church, we love all good music. I believe it elevates our God-given spirits.

This song may sound like elevator music to some, but let me offer a different perspective. It comes from a family of music meant to relax the soul.

Life can be tough and harsh sometimes, and what better way to soothe the soul but to bathe in well-thought through melodies and beautiful word pictures. Relaxing songs nurture and bring out the goodness in one's heart. I am not a trained philosopher nor a theologian, I am simply making an observation that humans need rest, redirection and redemption, and good music offers all three.

I also believe that God gave us the gift of music to enjoy, as a means of therapy and connection with other people. When cultures produce good art that nurture the soul, I see a characteristic born from the Creator to want to heal the human spirit. Afterall, we are made in His image. 

Spring in Live Oak Park - Photo by DHM

He loves us individually more than anyone else and seeks our good. And He will use anyone He wants to produce good art. Ours is to listen and watch for it if we are artists that we may make good art. If we are not artists, it is good to appreciate good art by encouraging good artists and investing in art and artistic events that elevate the soul.

I was an art student my first two years in college, but continue that gift in a different way. My canvas is family and friends. My media are hugs, gifts, and love -- lots of love. Am I perfect in my results? On some days, hardly. But as I learned long ago, if you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. My aim is to bring beauty and joy to my "patrons." I only hope their critical observations will be as graceful as the art I attempt to produce, because good art heals.

My father is home convalescing, and while he will nurture his soul spiritually with God's written Word, he also enjoys the therapeutic results of gardening, watching good movies, reading good books, turning on good background music and connecting with family and friends. He's a artist in his ministry, allowing God's love to flow through him to others, and it is coming back to bless him. Good art also heals the artist.

This post is dedicated to my wonderful father and mother. Dad, wishing you great success in your healing! Mom, you are an artist incognito, your artwork is a clean and orderly home, lots of love for anyone walking through it's doors and good food to feed the body and soul!

The Love That's Enough

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John and I started out the new year relaxing to the movie "Joyful Noise." It was full of songs, old and new. There is one song that stood out and reminded me so much of the love my parents have for each other.

Here's Kris Kristofferson and Dolly Parton singing "From Here to the Moon and Back."

I appreciate genuine romantic love. It's easy to think it should be something greater than it is. But it seems it's greatness is in its simplicity. I believe true romantic love is not about impressing others with romantic love, rather it's about listening to my loved one and satisfying their immediate need. What others get is an essence of what is shared with one's spouse. When it's done right, others may misinterpret a perfect moment to be so because the couple is perfect, meaning a couple who meets the ideal of the observer.

But no one is perfect, yet there is nothing wrong with appreciating perfect moments. Ideal moments crystallize as good memories and are healthy so long as they don't take on a life of their own and become the ideal all the time. Good memories are essential to good mental health, and it's important to store up the good ones that swallow the bad ones we have no control over. I guess that's the nature of forgiveness, a beautiful gift we are given to help us live life unhindered, happy and whole.

True romantic love may be sentimental, humorous, dead pan or spiritual, but it's probably a combination of so many qualities. Whatever it is, each couple has their own tailor-made romantic characteristics, and it's inspirational to watch servant-romance unfold.

My folks exemplify a couple who have loved each other this way for 58 years now this past December 14th. One of Dad's first tokens of affection to Mom was the gift of a shotgun on their first wedding anniversary. But Mom was never a hunter, so the most they got out of that gift was a good story and a good laugh! Over the years the gifts became more personal the more they got to know each other. It's a testament to their improved listening skills!

As a young girl I enjoyed watching them be appropriately affectionate with each other. They still enjoy hand-holding and walking arm in arm in public, and not just because Mom's knees are aging! I've appreciated this more over the years, and how kind physical touch says so much to each other and to those around. It's the love that's enough, that sustains when life gets rough and when others are tough on us; our loved one gives us enough!

Thanks, Mom and Dad for showing us that being together is enough and loving each other to the moon and back!