I have been meditating on the following Bible verse lately, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21) What person does not love to use their tongue? Talking is part of living. But what I speak will come back to bless or haunt me.
I love the parable of the house swept clean because it is the best wisdom on behavior change. Concurrently get rid of bad habits ("spirits" per the text) by replacing the former tenant with good habits. Because a house, or mind and behaviors, swept clean is an open invitation for the bad spirit to return bringing with it seven spirits [habits, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.] who are worse than before, my paraphrase. In other words, I don't subscribe to what I will call "punishment-motivation," only giving the bad news without directing one's mind to the good news that is available to all!
Heads Up! The links may have one obvious verse, other links will have several verses from all over the Bible and yet other links will require reading several verses until you find the end of the sentence.
- Gossip is dishonest but speaking humbly to an offender will bring the most good
- Slander is hurtful but considering others better than ourselves is healing
- Talking about what we don't know is meaningless but gentleness and doing good are acceptable anywhere!
- Talking too much is selfish but listening pleases God
- Not speaking up appropriately is cowardly but right judgment honors God in whose image we're made
- Bringing up subjects others can't relate to is foolishness but encouragement and humble curiosity create bonds that last
- Bragging about oneself is a relationship killer but bragging about others builds everyone up
- Nagging is a marriage killer but humbly praising a spouse in person brings marital unity
- Berating reveals the insecurity of the one berating but silence builds inner strength and humble confidence
- Boasting presumes we know God's mind but trusting God keeps us in check
- Giving glory to materials and media shows spiritual ignorance but thanksgiving for God's gifts sets men free from materialism
- Excessive Venting, complaining, arguing, regretting and lamenting add more trouble but venting, complaining and arguing, regretting and lamenting in confession to God first, then a confidant if necessary bring God glory
Yet even haunting words don't have to have us trapped if we honestly confess to God our wrong and apologize to those we've offended, to the best of our recollection. I've been known to pick up the phone or email someone years later when words have come back to haunt me. Things that long ago I spoke innocently believing them to be true for good reason at the time have a way of returning to judge or bless me. So far I have always been met with grace from the other person. The irony is my friend usually remembers something they did to me that has haunted them. What a delight when two mutually confess before each other and God! Bonds are strengthened, even if you never see each other again. A weight which once hindered is now gone and one can live freely! Our words bless or they curse. I never cease from having to chose.
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